Hola mis amores - so, something that is a big topic in my life at the moment is future, future decisions, the uncertainty of those decisions and wondering where and what i'll end up doing in life. I thought i'd spill my thoughts in a post as i'm not going to lie...i find it rather therapeutic!
So most of you know that at 18, you leave college and either go to university or go out, fend for yourself and get a job - I've always believed that I'll go to uni in hope i'll get the grades to do so and now i've finally reached the point where i'm applying...it's bloody scary! There are so many decisions, so much uncertainty, something i massively struggle with, i like to have a plan and usually know exactly what i'm doing so at the minute, as i don't even know whether i will get the grades to go to uni, or really what i want to study, you can imagine i'm a mess!
There is so much pressure nowadays on young people, older generations will say that in comparison to when they were young, we have it easy - if you look at, yes life in general is easier, but there are so many things young people have to deal with whether this be school/college or uni stresses as well as trying to hold down a job, family issues, mental health issues, society's expectations or anything else on the never ending list! We are expected, at 18, to know exactly what we want to do and where we want to go yet in reality all we have ever known is life in an education and most of us have no real idea what life is really like.
I suppose if you look at it from a more positive point of view, we as young people, have our whole lives ahead of us and i think the way i have learnt to deal with facing uncertainty in life is almost learning to not care? That may sound bad, not that I don't care about life or myself, i do, i think i just mean that i've almost learnt to accept that if something goes wrong, it goes wrong and you deal with it. it took me an awful long time to come to terms with this, to an extent i'm still trying to - i used to be one of those 'que sera, sera' (whatever will be, will be) people, until it all came crashing down around me and if ever anything went wrong - well...the world was practically coming to an end! Where as now, if something goes wrong, i fight it and do all i can to almost turn it around - i think in life we often accept that if something goes wrong, there is nothing we can do about it, in my view this is so so wrong, we have the power to be able to turn any situation around.
Take this year for me for example, on one hand, it's by far the worst year of my life - but then if i really look at all the negative things that have happened, now we're coming to the end of the year, most of them have either turned out okay or i am dealing with them and i know that they will be okay. I could have sat and said well...this is it...the rest of my life will be as sh*t as this year but instead i've said okay, well i've had a bad year for a lot of reasons, but there have also been a lot of positives, i turned 18, passed my driving test and have made so many memories with the best friends i could ask for, to name but a few. I've learnt so much this year, through the negatives have definitely come positives.
I hope if anyone is struggling with the concept of uncertainty, a lot of people my age may be, reading this has helped!
Remember to always be ur own light, chao for now, E x